So close!

Now this post is gonna start really boring but hopefully it will get better once I spit out my horrible first thoughts.

Cleaning, sanitizing my mind from confusing ideas... in one week or two weeks I have tried to "ARGUE":

-that the effects of France's reintegration into the NATO military structures are mostly symbolic..
-that power in our society works in a way that it enforces compulsory heterosexuality and leaves no space for other "subversive" sexual identities
-that the internet and social networking present a "new look" for surveillance and we should be careful about "cyber-utopian" attitudes
-that we live in a 'society of the spectacle' where images mediate our social relations
-that there is a social movement for the democratization of art in paris but the relationship between the individual artists and the collective movement is an ambiguous one
-i don't even remember any more

So much fighting, so much fighting! They make us fight and argue and debate and contest so much in school, I don't wanna fight anymore I just wanna love the world, why is that so hard.

:)

Seriously after seeing what all these people "argue" and "claim" or "suggest" I can't even think for myself anymore. I can't think for myself anymore but I can write papers like a robot and make them sound coherent. What does that say about me, or actually, what does that say about this education system.

Coffee after coffee.. ah how it kept me alive! We found a great Monoprix coffee from Cosa Rica that was my saviour during my late night adventures. I moved the table of the living room by my window in my room and sat there fore hours and hours, numbed in front of a screen. NOW i'M ALMOST OVER!

ohhhhhhhh What am I gonna do when I don't have anything DUE?

I'm probably gonna have a nervous breakdown because I'm not PRODUCING and have forgotten what sort of things you do when you have free time... read a bok perhaps? Go for a walk for no reason? Take pictures? I don't know there are so many possibilities but who knows if I'll do anything of that or just crash.

School is getting close to an end, one more months but that also means the end of Paris! No way, I can't believe I just wasted so many weeks writing assignments. Most of the topics I chose were interesting, but I have such limited time for each that I ended up hating the those expressions, the way in which the language I used started shaping my state of mind, that permanent headache, the "I just want to close my eyes for 5 min but I'm at the library" feeling.... BUT NOW IM SO CLOSE!

Just one more paper and one more presentation. Monday. IT'S ON. Both in French. -------------------------------

Yeah, I'm not thinking about that right now, I'm just enjoying the semi-freedom.

And this weekend I'm going to Lille to be in a nice ouse with nice people who are nice with me and help me wih french and cook me good food. And Im just gonna write my paper nice and chill and thats gonna be it (until finals haha how depressing).

I don't care about finals, I'm happy and I'm taking a train to the north in 2 hours. I'll write more happy things when I'm happy there.

:)